Missing

I forget
alot
I misplace
things
I don't remember the stuff that I did last week
But
I remember you
I rememer the way you felt
I remember the way you smelled
I remember the way my heart swelled
When I knew i'd be around you
It doesn't feel like it use to
All my memories feel like it's just that
Sure you are just a phone call away
But you used to be a drive
Things I want to say and do
Must be in front of your eyes
I can easily make you feel me
I need you to see me
I miss you
I pray you miss me, too

Survival

Balance living life and staying prepared.

Keep slim and wash these politics out of your hair.

They want it all,

In reality it’s nada.

Making paper out of air

Buying Gucci and Prada.

They expect you to follow…

Bullshit philosophies

People  warrin each other

Over measly fees.

A couple of gs…

Barely feeds one.

Shits goin down,

Start packin the guns!

No longer for fun.

Solely for surviva.l

Trying to lock us all down…

This country needs a revival!

Wake up you’ve been idle!

Your freedom’s been took.

Too busy surfin the tube;

Instead of reading a book.

And now your shook,

Ain’t shit you can do.

They got your house,

They got your car,

They got your family too!

Used to earn a livin...

Now you’re on welfare.

Cost of food steadily rising…

And you still ain’t scared?

You need to prepare.

It’s all about survival.

It’s damn foolish to trust a system

That declared itself your rival.

Where are you?

Another holiday season almost over and still no you.  I made sure to put you at the top of my list.  I said lots of prayers this year and just in case.. set out the cookies and milk.  Still my house was skipped...
Do you exist?

My heart

misses you before you walk out the door.

Is this it?
Thought we were building a friendship
You let it get in the way
And they say women have the detachment issues...

I refuse to force, drag, or beg it out of you
You want me as much as I do you or you don't

You obviously do not recognize who stands before you
If you did
You would not be so smug as if you were a conqueror
Your eyes would still be on the prize

You were let in to a place
Intimate, special, and warm
Inebriated with lust
Conscious of love
Unfortunately, your 2-D perception doesn't allow you to get the whole picture

What you think you got
Was a mere fraction of what I have to give
You prematurely sold all your stock
Neglected to see the long term returns on your investment
You went for the short term gain
Now, you are assed out
Trying to build your portfolio again
Asking for trade tips
Trying to get the inside scoop
Why you asking me?
You are the one who duped
Yourself

Thinking this friend you could continue to feed from
Without any backlash or discussions to come?
Sorry to disappoint you,  but I think you are smart enough to know that is not true. 

I crave more
Expect more
Deserve more
from you.

If I don't get what I desire, that is completely okay.  I know where I can get it.  There is always a different way...

Winter and the Holidays...

Are soley for lovers and people who have children.  I can't wait until this shit is over.

Lonely

Anxiety creeps

Depression sets in

There is no light in sight

Can’t ever seem to win

No one understands

No one is ever around

Every time I try to get up

Something knocks me back down

My chest gets tight

My body gets antsy

My eyes stay watery

My life is a dark fancy

Wanting to reach out

Afraid of being touched

“Just keep it moving

Those words don’t hurt much”

Can’t take acceptance

Rejection is so mundane

It’s more tolerable than acquiescence

Such a damn shame

My youth wasted

On loving blindly

Damaged my heart so bad

Can’t recognize when someone is being kind to me

Can’t be touched

I’m untouchable

Can’t be loved

I’m un-loveable

Don’t try to reach me

I don’t answer calls

I want try to

But somewhere it falls

Short

A serious disconnect

My emotions so far gone

Can’t seem to keep them in check

My heart holds so much

My mouth has yet to speak

My mind tries to hold it

All my eyes do is weep

Every night

I lay me down to sleep

My eyes don’t close

My mind wearily thinks

My heart beats fast

My body so tired

No rest for the dead

So much for wishing I could be retired

My thoughts consume me

My basic desires unmet

Little Miss Free Bird

Longing to be wanted

Dying to be kept